Last night, I had friends over for dinner and a movie. By 10 p.m., the movie was long forgotten. We were still at the table, refilling our wine glasses, picking at the last bites of food, and—more importantly—deep in conversation.
It was one of those magical, unplanned moments where time slows down, and the conversation flows naturally. Five women, five different backgrounds—Poland, India, South Africa, and the U.S. Some of us barely knew each other at the start of the evening, but by the end, we felt like old friends.
We covered everything from travel and politics to mental health, gardening (of course!), and cooking. No one was in a rush to leave. No one was checking their phone or watching the clock. We simply sat together, enjoying the moment.
One of the things I love about language is how some cultures have words for experiences that others don’t. In Spanish, there’s a word for this exact moment—sobremesa—but there’s no direct equivalent in English. The fact that Spanish has a word for sobremesa tells us something about the cultural value placed on slowing down and truly connecting over a meal.
In Spanish, sobremesa refers to the time spent at the table after a meal, lingering in conversation with family, friends, or colleagues. It’s not about eating—it’s about connection.
And that's exactly what happened at my dinner gathering—without planning it, we found ourselves in a long sobremesa, savoring both the conversation and the company.
What Is Sobremesa?
In Spanish, sobremesa refers to the time spent at the table after a meal, lingering in conversation with family, friends, or colleagues. It’s not about eating—it’s about connection.
This tradition is deeply embedded in Spanish-speaking cultures, where meals are not seen as something to rush through, but rather as opportunities to bond. In Spain, sobremesa can last for hours, especially after lunch, with coffee or even a small drink to keep the conversation going. In Mexico, Argentina, Colombia, and beyond, the concept is just as present—whether over coffee, dessert, or an extra round of drinks.
And while we don't have a direct translation for sobremesa in English, we all know the feeling. That warm, unhurried time when the meal is done, but no one wants to get up just yet.
The fact that Spanish has a word for sobremesa tells us something about the cultural value placed on slowing down and truly connecting over a meal.
Why Sobremesa Matters in a Professional Setting
If you work closely with colleagues, clients, or partners from Spanish-speaking cultures, understanding sobremesa can give you insight into how relationships are built.
Here’s why it matters:
1. Relationship-building is a priority
In many Spanish-speaking cultures, business is personal. Before diving into work or negotiations, people want to build trust and rapport. Meals are often a time to strengthen those relationships, and sobremesa plays a key role in that process.
If you’re at a business lunch or dinner, leaving immediately after the meal might seem abrupt or even dismissive. Instead, staying at the table, engaging in conversation, and allowing the moment to unfold naturally can help deepen professional connections.
2. Rushing can be seen as impolite
In some cultures (especially in the U.S.), efficiency is prioritized—people eat quickly and move on to the next task. But in Spanish-speaking cultures, the experience of sharing a meal is just as important as the food itself.
If you rush off as soon as the plates are cleared, it may be interpreted as a lack of interest in the people you’re with. Even if you have a packed schedule, making time for even a short sobremesa—over coffee, for example—can signal respect and appreciation.
3. It’s an opportunity for deeper conversations
While sobremesa can be lighthearted, it’s also where deeper conversations happen. Topics shift from small talk to more meaningful discussions about life, values, and perspectives.
In a work setting, this is where trust is built. It’s where you learn more about your colleagues beyond their job title, creating a stronger foundation for collaboration.
How to Embrace Sobremesa in Your Own Life
You don’t have to be in Spain or Latin America to practice sobremesa. In fact, after last night’s dinner with friends, I realized how much we all crave it—no matter where we’re from.
Here are a few ways you can bring more sobremesa into your life and work:
Slow down after meals – Instead of rushing away, take a few extra minutes to sit and talk.
Be present – Put your phone away, enjoy the moment, and engage in real conversation.
If working internationally, expect sobremesa – If dining with Spanish-speaking colleagues, don’t expect to eat and leave right away.
If hosting clients, allow time for conversation – If you’re in a leadership or client-facing role, build in time after meals for relaxed conversation.
Do You Have a Word for This in Your Language?
What fascinates me most about sobremesa is that, while we don’t have a name for it in English, it exists in some form in nearly every culture.
I love learning how different cultures express connection. Is there a word for sobremesa in your language? Or do you have a favorite sobremesa memory? Tell me about it—I’d love to hear!
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